With Pain Comes Pleasure
by Insanity 101
Summary: This fic contains...yup, you guessed it. Poetry. The first four are from my fic Redemption, but the rest were written for this. No out and out pairings, it's all interpretation.
1. Will

_Um...this spewed out, and I was surprised to find it sounded kinda like Robin. Maybe you'll like it, maybe you won't...not like I think it's amazing either, so no big if you hate it. Review just so I can communicate with someone, or not, whatever floats your boat.

* * *

_

_**I walked a line  
Between everything  
And nothing at all  
So thin  
So fragile  
Constructed with weak materials**_

_**Lies  
Hopes  
Fantasies**_

_**The plastic smile on her face  
The promises I never keep  
Friendships long dead  
But stubbornly gripped  
All that is meaningless  
And empty**_

_**One wrong step  
One mistake  
The line will break  
Nothing to keep me from my  
Fear  
I'm all alone  
Standing here**_

_**You say you want to help me  
You say you'll be there  
But you're not real  
You're not real**_

_**How can I lose something  
I never had at all  
Never had at all**_

_**All that was my world  
Just crashed down**_

_**You can stop now  
You've won, but it's not enough  
Not enough for you  
There is no mercy here**_

_**One wrong step  
One mistake  
The line will break  
Nothing to keep me from my  
Fear  
I'm all alone  
Standing here**_

_**All that was my world  
Just crashed down**_

_**The line remains firm  
I stepped off  
Of my own  
Free  
Will**_

* * *

_Yeah, I know it's weird. Kinda goes with Broken, I suppose...just some odd thing that sprouted up in my mind. No, I'm not on crack, but thanks for asking.**  
**_


	2. Don't Show Me Love

Poem...but you already guessed that eh? Will be featured in my story Redemption, as is Will. Enjoy._

* * *

_

_Please, please don't look at me  
I don't deserve those eyes  
Please don't touch me, Angel  
I fear what my darkness could do  
To that perfect skin  
Please don't speak__  
Your voice is a pleasure  
I sacrificed long ago_

_Leave me, I deserve it  
Abandon me, I understand  
Kill me, I'll thank you  
Just please, I beg you  
Don't show me love_

_Such beauty and innocence  
Perfection in the light of your eyes  
Sweet, sweet angel  
Why descend from your cloud on high  
To help one so evil and lost as I?  
Why do I see that unconditional love,  
So utterly wasted on me?_

_Leave me, I deserve it  
Abandon me, I understand  
Kill me, I'll thank you  
Just please, I beg you  
Don't show me love_

_I am not the one you loved--  
I die inside, but know it--  
I am not your hero, Angel  
He vanished long ago  
Gunned down by greed, hatred...  
Indifference  
I never knew, never gave thought  
To the precious gem, all mine  
Until I lost her_

_Please, **please** just  
Let me die_

_Leave me, I deserve it  
Abandon me, I understand  
Kill me, I'll thank you  
Just please, I beg you  
_

_Don't show me love_

_Don't show me love_

_Don't show me love

* * *

_

Well, there it is. Look for it in the second chapter of Redemption, when I upload it. Oh, and so you know...yes the first chapter of Redemption was formerly Behind Blue Eyes...the site saw fit to delete it, so I reposted. Hoping I won't get any more reviews asking that question... _-Dusty _


	3. Free to Fly

_Good morning, fellow fan-fictioners. Got a new poem for ya...this one was written for the third chapter of Redemption.

* * *

_

People say  
"Do the right thing"  
As though it's as easy  
As breathing  
When in reality  
Nothing could ever be harder 

You bleed  
You suffer  
You die  
Is it worth it?

A caged bird  
Longing for freedom  
When wings are broken  
And heart is crushed  
Hope seems far away  
As dashed as the dream of flight

You ache  
You grieve  
You weep  
Is it worth it?

Bitter tears spill from tortured eyes  
Memory plagues the weary mind  
An angel's plea  
Whispers of safety  
When the battle's over  
And the pain is gone  
Can he rise to greet the sun?  
Can all that was wrong  
Be undone?

The broken shall rise  
The weary, find rest  
The weak, discover their strength  
The loser, march with the best

When hope is lost  
And victory, crushed  
Stand true

_Broken wings will fly again_

* * *

Well...there you have it. I can feel the inspiration building in my head like a migraine, so I'm sure you'll be seeing the third chapter soon. -Dusty 


	4. My Winter

_Got inspired by something Mystyre said on the last chap of Redemption, so thank you for that. This is for the epilogue of that story...Hope you like it.

* * *

_

The ignorant have said  
You died with a blackened heart  
Those that once praised  
Now scorn your name  
No one knows the truth  
No one but me

Thinking of you  
So hard to break through  
_This is my winter_  
So much to say  
Doesn't matter anyway  
_This is my winter_

The coffin's cold fate  
The Earth gaping to swallow  
No flowers brightened you  
Uncertainty forbade celebration  
It's still not real

My mind is alive with you  
So real, so vivid, so clear  
Your smile fools me every time  
And every time I wake  
To losing you again  
I can't let go

Thinking of you  
So hard to break through  
_This is my winter_  
So much to say  
Doesn't matter anyway  
_This is my winter_

A part of me understands  
A part of me can see  
The truth lies in your hands  
Forever buried from me  
All alone, I see you there  
Breathless, I can only stare  
My heart screams  
Breaking, so it seems  
_This is my winter

* * *

_

_Well there it is, tell me what you think. The epilogue should be coming soon...and then I'll be working my hiny off on Dark Corners and SC:S. -Dark Lord Dusty_


	5. Not Fine

_Hi...Redemption is over, and I'm not planning to write a story from this...but I got inspired and thought it was worthy of showing to you. Dedicated to Robin and the struggle to trust in others. The rhyme scheme is very tight...quite different from my others so far...but hopefully you like it.

* * *

_

Take a blow  
Dodge a punch  
All of it over  
In time for lunch

Smile a little  
Talk for a while  
Fool them with  
Your flawless guile

All alone  
Shut the door  
Gasp for breath  
You're on the floor

A mask can only take so much  
A heart can only break so much  
Spiders spinning tangled lies  
I cannot always hide these eyes  
So my friends, before I go  
Just thought I'd let you know  
**I was never fine**

But there she is  
The master of souls  
Your perfected facade  
Has a few holes

Grazing the surface  
Guessing the whole  
Secrecy has at last  
Taken its toll

She sees your heart  
And knows your mind  
Where will you go?  
Where will you hide?

With gentle ease  
She lifts the latch  
Your lock has finally  
Met its match

So much darkness  
So much pain  
Suffering always  
Leaves a stain

A mask can only take so much  
A heart can only break so much  
Spiders spinning tangled lies  
I cannot always hide these eyes  
So my friends, before I go  
Just thought I'd let you know  
**I was never fine**

A harsh word  
A whispered reply  
You must escape!  
You have to lie!

A kick in the chest  
A knife in the dark  
Her betrayal  
Will leave its mark

She seems to know  
She claims to care  
Can you take  
This fatal dare?

Death is laughable  
Pain, old news  
Most would say  
You have nothing to lose

Fearless, strong  
Cold, in part  
You'll give a blow  
But not your heart?

A mask can only take so much  
A heart can only break so much  
Spiders spinning tangled lies  
I cannot always hide these eyes  
So my friends, before I go  
Just thought I'd let you know  
**I was never fine**

Wounds burn black  
Salt rivers ignite  
No one should see you  
In this light

Muscles give way  
Strength deserts  
They'll never know  
How much it hurts

You are strong  
You are brave  
One more life  
You'll always save

You can take it  
You can deal  
Heroes have  
No need to feel

Bleed and scream  
Ache and cry  
Not a whisper  
Not a sigh

Love is weak  
Trust is danger  
It doesn't matter  
How much you want her

Throw it away  
Fight for a smile  
You're dying inside  
All the while

Fearless, strong  
Cold, in part  
You'll give a blow  
But not your heart

A mask can only take so much  
A heart can only break so much  
Spiders spinning tangled lies  
I cannot always hide these eyes  
So my friends, before I go  
Just thought I'd let you know

**I WAS NEVER FINE**


	6. My Star

_A poem...lol you'd think I'd've stopped saying that by now. I got a pretty neat image, just popped right into my head, and I was too lazy to write a one-shot...so I wrote a poem instead (yes, and even that was a rhyme. -rolls eyes- no more poetry for me). From Robin's point of view, at least, in my mind...but it can really be whoever you want it to. This is extremely loose in comparison to Not Fine, but I just kinda let the poem dictate the format...and that made no sense. -sigh- Just read.

* * *

_

**The heavens viewed  
With back pressed  
To the Earth, hands  
Tightly linked, fingers  
Fitting comfortably together  
Surely my hand was  
Made for yours**

**Eyes fixed on the sky  
She smiles, some unknown  
Thought brightening her pale  
Face, some irony quirking  
Her sweet lips  
**

**She has eyes only for the stars  
I have eyes only for her**

**I feel so much, yet  
Speak not a word  
"Love" whispers my  
Heart, "friend" says my  
Betraying mouth  
My thoughts are my own  
Sickening, smothering burden  
What would you say  
If those thoughts were free?  
What would you do  
If I did what I  
So desperately want to?**

**Would the kiss  
Shock and surprise  
Your innocent lips?  
Would the touch  
Burden you, so  
Delicate and pure?  
Would you reject  
My pleading eyes?**

**No**

**An angel is  
Incapable of cruelty,  
Blissfully shielded from  
Evils many have come  
To consider common  
And natural**

**She would not hurt me  
But her heart...  
Her heart would not  
Be in that kiss  
Her affection would not  
Be in that touch  
Her love...  
No, her love would not  
Be in those eyes  
Not for me**

**She speaks, breaking the  
Thin web of my thoughts,  
Laughing as she trusts in me  
A small, yet surprising, secret**

**She finds herself in the stars  
I find the stars in her**


	7. The Natural Chaos of Things

_Yeah, another poem. What can I say, I was feeling poetic. This is my second from Raven's point of you. Yes, RAVEN'S! I have no experience in such matters, just an overactive imagination.

* * *

_

Why must you torment me so?  
Those eyes, oh how they freeze my soul  
Yet melt my weakened defenses  
Back rigid, eyes wide, I struggle  
Surely you can see my agony!  
Surely you know what you do to me!

Oh yes, you know  
I can see it in that crooked smile  
That subdued spark in your eyes  
You take pleasure in my pain  
Revel in the control you possess  
With one word, you destroy me  
Lift me high above the clouds  
Twist and jerk me into cruel knots  
Distort and delude until all I see  
...Is you

You, with your confidant walk  
Your carefree laugh  
Your intoxicating charm

Insults fly from my lips  
Desperate to conceal my weakness  
I've never needed anyone  
Always been content with friends  
Never fallen for that ridiculous word  
Never given away my heart  
And I never planned to either  


But then...you came along

There's a first time for everything  
And you're the living proof


	8. Just You and Me

Yup, another poem. I think...this could be from anyone's point of view, and honestly, I'm not sure who I think it is...It's just a poem. Let's go! Robin: One question before you continue. Dusty: Ok...shoot. Robin: Not that it isn't good or anything, but...what gives? This is, what, your eighth unrequired poem? Are you trying to stock up for school or something? Dusty: You know...I honestly have no clue. Just feeling very poetic lately. Robin: -shrug- Ok...you just never struck me as the poetic type. Dusty: You know, you can't predict everything about a person by the first glance, Rob. Ok, now moving on!_

* * *

_

_You're having doubts  
It's plain in your eyes  
Maybe the fight just  
Isn't worth the prize_

_But don't give up yet  
I swear I'll find a way  
Whatever it takes, I'll do  
Just please will you stay?_

_All the gold in the world  
Could never buy that smile  
I'd willingly surrender it all  
To be with you, just for a while_

_Just you and me  
Together we'll be free  
Endless possibility  
Take my hand, come with me  
We'll rewrite history  
Make them all see  
I know we can be free  
Just you and me_

_The world without you  
Lingers in lifeless gray  
A glimpse of your eyes  
Never fails to brighten the day_

_A love like ours  
Will not be pushed aside  
Affection so pure  
Should never have to hide_

_What does the world matter  
When I find a universe  
Shining forever in your eyes?  
I can't take these lies!_

_Just you and me  
Together we'll be free  
Endless possibility  
Take my hand, come with me  
We'll rewrite history  
Make them all see  
I know we can be free  
Just you and me_

_So many times I've seen that face  
Yet not once have I glimpsed you  
You speak the words with ease  
But I have yet to see them true_

_Them you're bating  
This I'm hating  
Forever anticipating  
I can't always be waiting  
For _Just You and Me

* * *

So what do you think? If it stinks, just tell me and I'll stop writing these stupid things... Robin: Not only do you write poetry, but you right ROMANTIC poetry. Now this one is a shocker. -ducks shoe- Hey hey, no need to get hostile! -runs to avoid lump of cookie dough- Dusty: -foaming at the mouth- IT'S NOT ROMANTIC! Gah, Review! 


	9. All Dead

_Here, I got another meaningless ramble for ya. Poetry is fast acting, while a story is more tedious, so...POV? Pick a character, any character.

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_

Ever had that feeling  
Where you're not quite whole?  
Where the world stands still?  
Where the bottom drops out?  
Where you can't get your fill?

Nothing seems right  
You don't know what's wrong  
Oh this feeling  
It's been here far too long

Can't stand the darkness  
Can't take the pain  
You hate the sun  
You loath the rain

Have you ever had  
That all-dead feeling?

Ever had that feeling  
Where you hate your own skin?  
Where the night comes from within?  
Where you just can't win?  
Where you're stretched too thin?

Nothing feels right  
You don't know what's wrong  
Yes, this feeling  
It's been here far too long

Can't stand the darkness  
Can't take the pain  
You hate the sun  
You loath the rain

Have you ever had  
That all-dead feeling?

Scream 'til it hurts  
Tear out your hair  
Laugh in its face  
Struggle for air  
You and the silence  
Make such a pair  
Once so protected  
Left so bare  
Does anyone know?  
Does anyone care?  
Pushed in your face  
Another mask to wear

Oh, you're bleeding inside  
It's not the first time you've cried, cuz

Nothing seems right  
You don't know what's wrong  
Oh this feeling  
It's been here far too long

Can't stand the darkness  
Can't take the pain  
You hate the sun  
You loath the rain

I doubt you could survive  
_Never will thrive  
Get ready for the dive_  
This all-dead feeling


	10. Sleep

The format for this poem is the most difficult and restrictive I've written (for this story) so far, but it all came fairly easy, not too much strain. This is from Raven's point of view. As always, pairings are left to your imagination.

* * *

_**The sun found me dreaming**_

_a story so sweet_

_**It forever was seeming**_

_an impossible feat_

_**It told of a new life  
**  
so precious and true_

_**A world free from strife**_

_A tale spent with you_

_**Newfound wings were spread**_

_lifted by Free_

_**The sun warmed my head**_

_shining on me_

_**Here, no fear could live**  
_

_dragging me down_

**_Here, no debts did I give_**

_forever a frown_

**_Those days were not emtpy_**

_dark and alone_

**_For you were there with me_**

_sweet, soothing tone_

**_Yes, you were there with me_**

_silence the moan_

**_You were there with me_**

_never alone_

**_You were there with me_**

_I should have known_

**_Reality is so bleak, I see_**

_black on white_

**_I think I'm ready to be free_**

_give up this fight_

**_No, I'm afraid I'm not coming_**

_don't wait_

**_This dream-state is numbing_**

_waking, I hate_

**_So I close my eyes_**

_breathe so deep_

**_Deaf to your cries_**

_I sink into Sleep

* * *

_

Believe it or not, I started this poem with the determination of writing something happy...but I got this instead. In fact, most of my poems start out trying to be happy...but it never works that way. -shrug- I'm a drama queen, I specialize in misery. Maybe you liked it, maybe you didn't, either way, I'm kind of indifferent. ...Oook, that was a rhyme as well. -smacks self- I really need to stop this whole poetry craze... -Dusty


	11. I'll Be Seeing You

Raven's point of view on this one. For those of you who read Redemption...this is something of a sequel in poetic format. Something brought the story to mind, triggering this...hope you enjoy, maybe it'll give you some closure for that story._  
_

* * *

_I think I can say my work is done_  
_ I left my mark on the world_  
_ I fought and won_  
_ The dark shroud was unfurled_  
_ I have seen the sun_  
_ My finger never curled_  
_ Around the cowardly gun_

_I did my best_

_I passed the test_

_Now I can rest_

_____Take the darkness  
Take the pain  
Wash me til im clean again  
Hide the weakness  
Hide the stain  
With you I shall remain  
But this time...  
I'm not alone_

_______So strange, I thought this day would never come  
Hours spent so cold  
I smiled but my heart was always numb  
A silent story told_

_________Now all I want to know_

_________Is the one thing you can show_

_________I'm waiting for you_

___________Take the darkness  
Take the pain  
Wash me til I'm clean again  
Hide the weakness  
Hide the stain  
With you I shall remain  
But this time...  
I'm not alone  
I'm not alone_

___________Never, never alone_

* * *

Hmm...was that happy? To me, it was. Now, what exactly happened in the end of the story is up to your interpretation...Thank you to everyone who's read this so far. I'm glad to hear some positive feedback on my poems. -Dusty___________  
_


	12. Cataract

_Hello all...I really didn't think I'd be adding another poem to this story...but it turned out that I was feeling poetic at four last night...I mean this morning. This is from Robin's point of view...it doesn't really make much sense so I'll explain at the end. Oh and uh...this one ain't happy either.

* * *

_

**CATARACT**

**_Sitting in silence,  
Contemplating violence... _**

I'm trapped by the ghosts of a haunted past,  
Burdened by thoughts of the hell I created,  
Overshadowed by the legacy I never hoped to fill;  
Unconcerned, undeserving, I fall before his will.

_Sitting in silence,  
Contemplating violence.  
Bending in pain,  
Washing out the stain.  
Shaking in fear,  
Praying he won't hear._

I've lost all that I once knew, relying on direction;  
Three hundred sixty--perspective shift--change of soul.  
The natural consequence: I can't face those friends  
Who still cling to the dream that for me, met its end.

_Lying still,  
Breaking my own will.  
Fearing his wrath,  
Choosing my own path.  
Throwing the dart,  
Crushing my own heart._

I can't find the desire to be free.  
I no longer hear the desperate plea.  
Here lies what is left of me;  
An epitaph no one will ever see.

**_Shaking in fear,  
Wishing someone could hear...

* * *

_**_Okay...firstly, the name. A cataract is a film over the eye which causes problems with vision or blindness. The person in the poem has been spiritually and morally blinded until they accept things they never thought they would. ...Hopefully that helps. Not necessarily that good, but worth showing, at least. I was listening to Linkin Park while I wrote it...might have something to do with the format. -Dusty_


	13. Devotion

_Um...yeah I wrote a billion poems one right after the other today...which is extremely odd cuz I didn't think I would ever do the poetry thing again. It comes and goes...now as to the questions about me being depressed, such questions make me unbelievably uncomfortable so...please refrain. Thanx. This could be from anyone's point of view.

* * *

_

**_DEVOTION_**

**Ask anything of me;  
To serve you is heaven.**

**I would gladly suffer  
To spare you pain.**

**I would take the fall  
To keep you from blame.**

**I would risk it all  
To have one moment with you.**

**And, should you ask it,  
I would surrender my life  
To see you smile  
And know that, just once  
I pleased you.**

**Ask anything of me;  
To serve you is to breathe again.

* * *

**

_Yeah...again, plz no depression comments. Robin: Are you taking your medication faithfully? Dusty: ...No. Robin: -inches away- Anyway...I'll put up another tomorrow. -Dusty _


	14. Last Regret and Purpose

_As promised, I am here with another update...I'm glad my last poem was well recieved. This chapter actually contains two very short poems...my goal lately has been to have maximum impact with minimum words...probably a side effect of attempting to master the short story. Anywho, they are somewhat related to each other...so I think it works.

* * *

_

**LAST REGRET**

_NOW THAT DEATH  
IS JUST ONE BREATH  
AWAY, _

_I WISH I COULD STAY  
TO HEAR YOU SAY  
IT'S OKAY._

_NOW I FIND  
I HAVE BEEN BLIND.

* * *

_

**PURPOSE**

A lack of _meaning_

Is a lack of _reason_

For _breathing._

* * *

_Yes...very different from what I usually write, but I thought I would try this out and see how you guys like it. If you don't like it, that's okay...It helped me feel better. :) Thanks for reading. -Dusty_


	15. The Unlived Life

_Hi...sorry I missed updating yesterday, I got..involved. Word to those who are as stupid as me: Never agree to work as a nanny, especially if your employer happens to be your older sister. Anyway, here's the new poem.

* * *

_

**THE UNLIVED LIFE**

You have not lived  
Until you've felt love.

You have not lived  
Until you're heart is broken.

You have not lived  
Until you've healed it.

You have not lived  
Until you've sacrificed.

You have not lived  
Until you've seen their eyes shine.

You have not lived  
Until you've given yourself.

You have not lived  
Until you've created life.

And you have not lived  
Until you've died  
Knowing someone loved you.

* * *

_Yup...there it is. Pretty self explanatory...the title is a little line borrowed from Tuck Everlasting. Peace. -Dusty_


End file.
